One of the members of the Hurunui Writers’ Group mentioned that she had written something and then asked ChatGPT to critique it. ChatGPT said that it needed more emotional depth, which left her wondering how to achieve that. To be honest I’ve found her writing to be excellent and very nicely aimed with regard to emotional depth, especially considering her preferred genre. Anyway, ChatGPT has said that it needed more emotional depth, and so she was keen for us to do a topic around that. I duly researched and created the resource which can be found here: Creating Emotional Depth.

This particular topic must have had a record number of responses from the group. There were some very powerful pieces shared, exquisite in their intensity and delivery.

Here is the challenge description.

Writing Challenge - Let the Reader Feel It

Write a vignette, scene, or short story (roughly 300–1000 words) in which an important emotion is never named. You may not use the words for the core emotion (sad, angry, afraid, relieved, in love, grieving, etc.). The reader should still clearly understand what the character is feeling.

Choose one:

a moment of quiet change (something shifts, even slightly)
a conversation where something important is not said
a character alone with a decision they don’t yet admit they’ve made

Requirements:

Use at least two techniques from the article (for example: body language + environment, or dialogue + sensory detail).
Include at least one small, ordinary action that carries emotional weight (making tea, waiting for a message, folding laundry, driving somewhere familiar).
Let the emotion evolve, even subtly, between the beginning and the end.

Optional constraints (for the brave or foolhardy):

Limit internal thoughts to no more than three short lines total.
Set the scene in a familiar, everyday place.
Write it as if the reader already knows the characters - no backstory dumps.

Here are a couple of prompts if you need them.

“A phone call that doesn’t go as planned” “Returning something that didn’t work out”

On the whole, I didn’t follow much from the challenge outline, preferring to write what I had in mind. So, here’s what I came up with to portray a positive emotion.

A Chance to Do What You Love

Anita gave a twirl, and sashayed, heels clicking on the tiles, over to where Anthony lounged on the sofa fiddling with his phone. She struck a pose, “What do you think?”

Anthony glanced up, and stared. “Smoking hot!”

Anita laughed and raised her chin, to return the stare. “Anything less, and I’d leave you here.”

“Younknow I can’t dance.”

“Yes you can,” said Anita, pushing his legs aside and dropping onto sofa beside him, making sure he got a good waft of her perfume. “I like dancing with you. You’re fun.” In her mind, she and Anthony were already dancing, sailing around the floor – sure, more like a heavy schooner than a fine clipper, but that was much better than the dodgem car he had been at their first dance. She chuckled at the vision.

“What?” Anthony raised a suspicious eyebrow.

“I was just remembering our first dance.”

Anthony shuddered.

“What say I just sit at our table,” said Anthony, “and you can dance with the other guys. The more experienced dancers. Your feet and the other couples will be safer that way.”

“Nope. I want you. I want to swirl around the floor with you. I want you to dance me off my feet.” she leaned in close and fluttered her eye lashes at him.

“You’re impossible.”

“It’ll be fun.”

“So where’s this place supposed to be?” Anthony frowned at his phone. “I can’t find the Balkan Hall anyway.”

“Balcairn.” Anita huffed. “It’s out to the North.”

Anthony’s attention almost made it back to his phone, but Anita slid it out of his hand, and gazed into his eyes. “I know the way. Go and get your gears on.”

Anthony sighed and headed for the bedroom.

“Let’s be on time tonight,” Anita shouted after him. “I don’t want to miss the first dance.”

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